


Try Another Day

by nymja



Series: Do or Do Not [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, Tumblr fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 15:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5544497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymja/pseuds/nymja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He watches. The fingers of one of her hands slowly uncurl from her palm, extending toward his face. He indulges her, not moving. One of her hands goes up to cover her mouth. He waits until he feels the coarseness of her fingertips hovering over his scars—close but not quite touching.</p><p>It hits him then—an unraveling that makes his fists clench.  <i>She feels <b>sorry</b> for him.</i></p><p>--</p><p>A meeting between two disciples of the Force.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try Another Day

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: Rey and Kylo Ren remember each other. Part of my Do or Do Not series, should be able to be read as a standalone, though I recommend reading Tried and Trial first! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone for all your kudos and comments so far in the series, I really appreciate it!

“Do you believe in destiny, Kylo Ren?”

Kylo Ren looks up. The image of Snoke’s face peers down at him, his cheek absently cradled by his hand.

“What do you mean?” He asks the Supreme Leader.

Snoke doesn’t move or change his expression. He looks…contemplative. “I have looked into the Force. I have seen the path you must walk if you are to complete your training.”

He bows his head. “I’m ready.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“So certain,” Snoke straightens in his chair. “So _fixed._ ” His fingers drum on the rests of his throne, before he tilts his head. “Though such determination is not always a flaw. Not with you, Kylo Ren.”

Kylo swallows. He is not nervous. But he is…apprehensive. “What must I do.”

“Go backward, then forward.” Snoke’s stare is heavy. “Even now, I feel your pain. The girl managed to make her mark.”

His fist clenches. “It won’t happen again.”

“That’s because…” Snoke looks up, gaze seeming to rest somewhere else. Somewhere beyond.  “It has already happened before.”

“…Supreme Leader?”

“I have seen the path you must walk.” Snoke repeats. “And it is _not_ a _line_.”

“Then when do I begin?”

Snoke looks down. “Never. You continue.” Snoke taps a finger. “I want the girl.”

Kylo tenses.

“Bring her to me. That is your first task.”

He nods in acknowledgement. “Supreme Leader.”

“Do not fail me.”

“I won’t.”

\--

Once he returns to his quarters, Kylo Ren slowly removes his mask. He trails the tips of his fingers over his skin, where he left the scars she gave him. They are hypertrolic—the scar tissue raised and still raw. They pulse with their own pain.

_I want the girl._

He closes his eyes. Her thoughts still skim the surface of his, and images races in his mind. The ocean, cold and distant. But peaceful. The desert, hot during the day. Impossibly cold at night. Lonely.  The jungle…

Kylo grinds his teeth. Takes a long breath through his nose, as Snoke has trained him to do. He focuses his anger and frustration into something else. Something productive.

 _Where are you?_ He asks the emptiness which lies between them. Silence is his only answer. He runs his hand over his scars one more time before he replaces his mask.

And calls out a name that plays on his thoughts, half-formed and insistent—like a note out of key.

\--

_Rey._

\--

Her hand slips when she hears it. Rey has enough time to emit a gasp before her balance falters, and she tumbles to the ground in a hard _oof._ The rain-soaked grass is cool against her back, and her chest feels suddenly tight from having the wind knocked out of it.

Luke turns his head, a hand holding up his hood. “Rey?”

She takes a moment, before she exhales and pulls herself up into a seat. “I…heard something.”

“What was it?”

“My name.”

“Just your name?”

She swallows. “I think it was him.”

Luke meets her stare. His features look grey in the light of the incoming dawn. “Ben.”

“Is that normal?” Rey stands, and makes her way over to where her Master sits. Luke wordlessly hands her breakfast, which she accepts before sitting next to him. “I’ve never heard someone that…clearly before.”

“Snoke will be after you.” Luke says after a moment of contemplation. “You, and the map to me.”

“He won’t get it.” Rey’s voice has already taken on a defensive edge. She still does not know why Luke has stayed in hiding for so long, but she does know that she’s not giving up his position. Especially to Snoke. _Especially_ to Kylo Ren.

“Everything has its time.” Luke folds his hands over a knee. “Even Yoda couldn’t hide forever.”

She chews absently on the inside of her cheek, her mind going back to Luke’s story about the cave. About Anakin Skywalker—Kylo Ren’s grandfather. About Vader.

“You think he’ll come here?”

“Maybe.” Her Master looks out to the ocean. “You woke me up, Rey. Others are bound to notice.”

Her fingers dig into the fabric of her pants, her mind a hundred miles away. She’s only known Luke for seven months, but it’s enough. She hears Kylo Ren’s voice in her mind—muddled, but decipherable. Calling out her name.

He’ll find her, she knows with an absolute certainty. He’ll find her, and he’ll find Luke.

She can’t let that happen.

“Rey?”

Her hands feel clammy, but she meets Luke’s gaze. “Yeah?”

He watches her, a thousand thoughts hanging in the space between them. For a moment, she thinks he’s going to say something about the plan blossoming in her mind. But he doesn’t.

“Let’s continue your training,” he says, in a quiet voice that somehow already speaks to loss. “While we still can.”

\--

When she finally sleeps, she wakes up in snow. The whispers from her trial still sound in her ear—haven’t left, really—but they’re clearer here than they are when she’s awake. She’s not in her usual training clothes. Instead, she’s wearing a different grey tunic and pants. Rey thinks, absently, that they look something like the clothes the younglings wore in her vision.

He’s there. Wearing the same greys. His face is unscarred, and he _flickers_. Boy. Man. Boy.

The same boy in her vision, the one in the jungle.

“Where are you?” He asks.

She clenches her jaw. “You won’t find him.”

Man. Boy. Man. “You can’t stop this.”

Rey smiles.

“Watch me.” She shoves out her hand.

\--

He wakes up, and slams his fist into the wall.

\--

The next day, Rey goes out on her daily run. The air is cool, not quite snow, but the memory doesn’t leave her. Or the threat of it. She runs until her entire body aches, the scream of her muscles and lungs overtaking the whispers of the Force. And when she finally returns to their camp in the ruins, she looks at Luke and feels the overwhelming sensation of grief.

“You’re leaving,” Luke states, his eyes shadowed.

“I’ll be back,” Rey says quickly.

Luke tries to smile—but it’s not the same as the ones she’s been seeing the last few months. The ones that remind her of the farmboy. “Then let’s make sure you have enough food for both trips.”

\--

It takes a few days to prepare—food and water needs to be gathered and stored, repairs need to be made to Luke’s fighter. It’s old, and rusted out, but Rey’s good with broken things.

She’s about to retrofit the cockpit when she sees it. Rey stills from her work with the hyperdrive, lowering her hand to the inside wall of the X-Wing.

Her fingers drift over the tally marks, etched into the metal. Dozens of them. Hundreds. Tears flood her eyes, and Rey sinks into the seat of the fighter.

\--

Her goodbye is a quiet thing. Luke pulls her into a hug as the sun starts to dip below the horizon.

“Remember what you saw in the ruins.”

Rey nods. “I will.”

“Then I guess…I’ll see you when you get back.”

Rey looks at his tired face and remembers the scoring in his X-Wing. The scoring of her place in Jakku.

“Yeah, you will.”

His lips tug into a grin. “Then while you’re out, why don’t you pick up some new power converters.”

\--

When she flies away she looks back once, in order to give a small wave.

Luke hesitates, but his mechanical hand gives a slow wave in return.

\--

She’s moving.

Kylo Ren sits in meditation, his thoughts thrown out into the Force like lines. She tugs at one of them, moving away—splitting from _him._ Kylo follows its vibrations, tries to find only her signal in the noise. The Force, he’s come to realize, is chaos. Free and unbridled—unlimited, but difficult to see clearly through.

 _Rey!_ He cries out in frustration after several hours of being unable to see her.

 _Be quiet._ She **scolds** _. And I’ll give you a map._

\--

Coordinates appear in his mind, which he records in the astronavigational charts of his fighter. Once they’re calculated, he frowns. There is a pain blossoming between his eyes, a migraine. His thoughts are strained, disjointed. But he can’t stop _that_ feeling.

**_NO!_ **

Whispers, echoes. They swarm his thoughts as he prepares for the journey.

_No, don’t go!_

He knows her. The memories have been filtering back since they met—snippets of voices. Old and distorted like poor holos. An undeniable _pull,_ snagging at his chest.

He. _Knows._ Her.

If only he could figure out how.

\--

Rey goes home. Jakku is the same, but not for her. She walks through the Niima Outpost, looking at the tents that have been re-built after the First Order’s attack. The ships that are newly docked in the _Falcon’s_ place. She wonders how Chewie is doing now—if he’s still with the Resistance like he said he was planning.

A few eyes are cast her way, but no one says anything. No one here ever says anything unless it has to do with credits. Rey looks down to the hub, where Unkar Plett is still dealing out portions of food for parts worth twenty times their value.

She thinks of the old saying, the one an old woman once muttered to her over the scouring pods.

_Coming back isn’t the same as never leaving._

Rey adjusts the holster of her lightsaber over her shoulder, and starts to make her way across the sands.

\--

They’ve gutted her home. Most of the tools, gear, supplies, and even clothes have been pilfered—her lucky helmet’s gone. In its place is a datapad: _YOU OWE ME A SHIP._

All that remains in the skeletal AT-AT is her doll, dried remnants of her flowers, and the marks on the hull. She sits in front of them, legs folding over each other and fists pressed together in front of her chest, and waits.

\--

He hates this planet. It’s a hollow in the Force—silent and dry and pitiful. The hot wind whips through his robes as he descends from his fighter. The sun is high in the sky, burning everything with a heat he feels through his armor.

It’s not far of a walk. Her coordinates are well calculated, and the Force guides him the rest of the way. Eventually, Kylo finds himself in front of an abandoned AT-AT, a remnant of the old Empire. A remnant of his grandfather’s legacy. Disgust fills him, of course the scavenger would pick _here_ to meet-

 ** _BEN!_** The whisper screams in his ear and he startles, igniting his lightsaber and turning.

No one’s there.

He levels out his breathing, takes a moment to collect himself, and walks through the skeleton.

\--

She feels him approach. Rey doesn’t know why she wants him to meet her here—if a fight _does_ break out, the space is cramped and hard to navigate.

Maybe that’s because she doesn’t want this to be a fight.

Or maybe it’s because he needs to _see._ It’s a thought that’s been circulating in her mind, one that she doesn’t understand fully. But she knows it’s what she needs to do. He needs to understand something, even if Rey isn’t sure of what that is.

Soon, she hears his footfalls. Then the electric hiss of his lightsaber.

“Jakku.” Is all he says.

She opens her eyes. Kylo Ren stands before her, lightsaber already drawn. His black-clad form seems to fill up the entire space of her former home. Once, maybe, that might have frightened her. It was fear, she realizes now, that made her draw a blaster on him in the forest. But he doesn’t scare her anymore.

She has seen the boy. She’s seen his own terrors.

“You’re coming with me.” He takes a few steps forward, until he’s standing directly above her.

“No.” Rey states. “We’re going to talk.”

Kylo Ren’s sound of disgust echoes metallically behind his mask. “ _Talk._ ”

“You hear them, too. I know you do.”

He pauses at that, and she watches as the mask goes from her face to the holster on her shoulder. “You’ve built your own lightsaber.”

“I have.”

“Then _use_ it.”

Rey’s jaw clenches as she thinks of her visions in the ruins. Of the fight in the snow, of the boys in the desert and jungle. Of the children, strewn about unmoving on the walkway.

“No,” she says softly, but with conviction. “Not today.”

His anger is a potent thing—it reminds her of live wires when she’s stripping down drives. Kylo Ren manages to shoot her a poisonous look before he starts to pace the small expanse of her home.

“Come,” he _snaps,_ extending his hand to her.

She eyes it, and shakes her head. “Sit.” She suggests instead, “Or strike me down. It’s your choice.”

The lightsaber is instantly pointed at her throat.

\--

He hates her. His arm is steady as he holds his blade just barely under her chin, but when she looks up at him she’s unafraid. It’s not at all like in the forest, and _he sees Luke_ in her mannerisms _._ In her patient stare. Anger makes him tighten his grip.

“I could kill you right now.”

“But you won’t.” Her breathing is steady.

“I’ve killed before. What makes you think I won’t do so again.”

“Nothing.”

He gives a cry of anger before he swings. She doesn’t flinch. His lightsaber slashes through the wall behind her head, cutting deep rivets across what appear to be tally marks-

- ** _B **EN**!-_**

He slams off the ignition. The smell of molten metal fills the air.

“ _Speak,”_ he pants.

“Sit.”

His fists clench. But he sits. “Stalling won’t help you.”

“We’ll see.”

\--

Rey’s heart is almost in her throat. Behind her, the tallied wall sports burned out grooves, and in front of her sits the man who made them. The Dark Side hovers around him like a miasma, choking out everything but a small stream of light from one of her newly formed windows.

“The Force called us here,” she reminds him. Whatever this meeting is, the one thing she _knows_ is that it is inevitable. Maybe it could have been a duel, maybe it could have been an attack on Luke’s island. But it would have happened, in whatever form it takes.

“You sound like him.”

“That’s _not_ a weakness.”

“It is nothing but weakness.” Kylo’s anger spikes in the Force, “You are new to the Force. Untrained-“

“I’ve passed my trial.” Her words are cool. It’s tempting, to respond to Kylo’s anger in kind, but she tries to think of the old words Luke has given her. There’s only the Force.

“A _Jedi’s_ trial.”

“Have you passed yours?”

Silence.

He is a few feet away. But she still tenses when his hands move, bracing herself for another threat with his lightsaber. Kylo Ren surprises her, when his only move is to slip a hand under his mask, and pull it off.

“Jedi,” he starts, as she stares at his face, “have limits to what they can accomplish.”

Rey’s heart thrums. The echoes from their conversation in the vision, coupled with the sight in front of her makes her stomach wrap in knots. Kylo Ren’s face is bisected, a series of scars making a diagonal line across his face. They’re dark purple in color—swollen, and angry. Still new, despite having been made almost a year ago.

Rey swallows, and leans forward.

\--

He watches. The fingers of one of her hands slowly uncurl from her palm, extending toward his face. He indulges her, not moving. One of her hands goes up to cover her mouth. He waits until he feels the coarseness of her fingertips hovering over his scars—close but not quite touching.

“I don’t mean to-“

Kylo Ren frowns. He doesn’t understand this sudden weakness. Trepidation. He keeps his arms at his sides.

“Proud?” He asks, for that was his intention. For her to see the results violence can create.

“No.” Her hand drops between them without ever fully feeling the scars she created.

It hits him then—an unraveling that makes his fists clench.  _She feels **sorry** for him._

He sighs. Predictable. Disappointing. “Regretful, then?”

She meets his eyes, “No.”

Kylo Ren bites down on his lower lip in anger. “Then grab. Your lightsaber.”

“Your name was Ben, once.”

His eyes narrow as he agrees. “Once.”

“What happened to Ben?”

“Does it matter.”

“It does to me. It does to Luke.”

“Luke’s feelings are inconsequential.”

“You used to be a boy,” she whispers. It angers him that he senses sadness in her words. She does not get to feel _loss_ over a shell. Ben Solo does not deserve grieving.

“Whatever was left of him died with Han.” He uses his father’s name deliberately, and he feels a flash of anger and pain from her at it. He presses forward. “It was a long fall, Rey. Who knows what was left at the bottom.”

“You can’t be this heartless.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself, and her voice rises. “You can’t be this much of a _monster_.”

A tired accusation. “Savior complexes lend themselves well to disappointment, don’t you think?”

Her face pulls into a scowl, and she turns away.

He leans forward, and keeps his voice quiet. “Would you like to grab your lightsaber, now?”

Her hand moves, and a thrill of anticipation fills him as it goes to the holster on her shoulder. He sees the silver of her handle—it’s scoured with burn marks, the metal clearly salvaged from something else—glint in the limited light of the walker. She hesitates, but he can feel the darkness, drawing her closer to that edge.

“Do it.”

Rey closes her eyes. Her hand drops back to rest at her side.

He can feel his nostrils flare with his breath as he gives up any form of stoicism. _“Do it._ ”

Her hand flexes, but she lays it flat against the ground. “ _No._ ” Her stare seems to burn a hole through him, and he hears the whispers once more: quiet, dissonant. But growing louder and louder. “That’s not what’s supposed to happen now. Not today.”

_I have seen the path you must walk. And it is not a line._

“Then why did _you_ call to me?” He spits out, no longer in the mood for whatever trap she’s trying to cage him in.

“To warn you, I think.” Her fingers are drumming against the floor—always _fidgeting_ this scavenger. “And to let you know that…”

“ _What._ ”

“Darth Vader was once a boy, too.” Her eyes soften, “I met him. In a vision. And Luke says he became Anakin in the end-“

“I don’t care what Luke has to say!” Kylo’s stomach sours as rage and betrayal hit him full force. Never once, has he seen Darth Vader. And yet this _thief_ manages it. “What did Vader say to you? _Tell me._ ”

“It wasn’t meant for you-“

_“Tell me!”_

“No.”

Kylo’s brows furrow, and without thinking he outstretches his hand.

\--

Rey feels him, tugging at her senses. Trying to get information from her like he did on the Starkiller base. She feels the strain, but holds it at bay.

What would Luke do?

She tries to clear her mind. Tries to hear the whispers. _Help me,_ she asks them.

 _We will._ They answer. She feels them, as they pull both her and Kylo Ren into a memory.

\--

Kylo Ren is in a jungle. He’s been here before.

It’s a clearing, the air is hot and humid. He sees white pebbles, sprayed across the ground. A girl is standing in the middle of it. She’s small, wearing faded, grey robes. Brown hair is done up in three, small knots. She’s smiling.

“Ben!” The girl takes a step forward. Grabs his hand.

He rips his arm away. The girl still smiles.

“I knew you’d be back.”

\--

He’s with the girl, again. She’s falling asleep as he carries her on his back to the academy-

\--

The girl is screaming a name. Kylo Ren watches, as a fellow Knight lifts his lightsaber and goes to plunge it into her small stomach—

\--

They’re in the desert. He has his hand over her forehead. She’s asking him not to go.

“ ** _Don’t_**! _Don’t leave me_!”

\--

Kylo Ren rips out of their Force connection, chest constricting as she scavenges the broken parts in his mind.

\--

Rey’s not sure what it is that he saw, but he’s pale. Kylo Ren stares at her, his dark eyes wide as his breath comes in shallow pants.

“ _You._ ” He hisses.

Rey frowns. “Me?”

Kylo’s brows draw together, as he looks her up and down. As he stares at her face, trying to locate something new in it. Rey sits there, uncertainty worming its way into her. Did she do what she was supposed to do, in showing him the vision? Was this what the whispers and the vision had wanted?

Kylo Ren’s hand goes to his lightsaber. She braces herself.

His mouth pulls into a tight frown, before he stands. He draws his lightsaber, and it flares scarlet in the AT-AT, cackling and sputtering. Rey slowly pushes herself up into a stand.

His throat works, as he processes whatever it was the Force decided to show him. As he attempts to reconcile whatever was seen in the vision. He looks past her, to the tally marks. And pales further still.

“This is your home.”

Rey slowly nods.

His body visibly trembles, as if there’s a great anger he can’t hold back. A compressor, about to explode and ignite.

“Leave _._ ” He growls, using his lightsaber to gesture to the door.

Rey casts a quick, parting look to the inside of her home. “What did you-“

“Now!”

She straightens. His pain is a visible thing in the Force, so is his indecision. She casts out her senses, and while there is no answer, no whisper, she knows that whatever had to be done this meeting has occurred. There’s so much she wants to ask him, and she wants to know what vision the Force gave him. But she knows that, whatever it is, it will have to wait. Until they meet again. Until next time, when maybe it _does_ take place as a duel or attack.

She takes a few hesitant steps past him. He stands, stoic but for the clenching and unclenching of his fist. She makes sure her voice is clear as she stands by the exit.

“Don’t follow me.”

And then she leaves.

\--

Kylo Ren senses her presence weaken and diminish as she retreats, but she’s barely out of the AT-AT before he starts swinging his lightsaber. He slashes, again and again and again, until the wall comes down. Until the visible proof of his moment of weakness is destroyed.

Once he’s sated, his eyes rest on a small doll lying on the middle of the floor. Dressed in Resistance colors.

Kylo Ren sneers, before he draws his lightsaber through that, too.


End file.
